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nothing to see here

nothing to see here

We made it through another Halloween. No razors in apples, no anthrax in the popcorn, no rebellious teenagers to beat up. Though that last part was a little disappointing. I could have done with a little ass kicking today.

I was over at my cousin's today. All the kids were upstairs, watching a Halloween cartoon. It came time to go, and I went upstairs to pull DJ away from the tv. But they weren't watching tv. They were praying. 6 boys, from ages 6 to 11, reading a prayer to St. Joseph from a scrap of paper.

Astounded, I asked them what they were doing.

"Terrance (one cousin's friend) left this paper here for us," said Cory.

"Yea," said DJ. "He wrote down this prayer and said we should make wishes on it."

They started talking all at once.

"We have to say it for 9 days!" The excitment was palpable.

"9 days out loud and god gets us our wishes!" Screaming glee.

I looked at the paper, and the atheist in me was just a bit horrified that a 9 year old boy wrote this prayer down from rote memorization. It had words I never heard of in it.

"So, explain again to me what happens when you say this for 9 days," I said.

"You make wishes and god gives em to you"

"Ummm guys, gods not a genie, he doesn't grant wishes"

"yes he does. Terrance said this is like magic!"

"So , you wishing for the war to end? For world peace? A cure for cancer?"

They all look at me like I've lost my mind.

"Hell no," said Kevin. "We're whishing for video games!"

I walk out of the room and I hear the 9 year old say as I leave, "man, we're gonna wish so much that a shitload of toys is gonna fall from the sky in 9 days!"

So umm, St. Joseph..I know I'm an atheist and all but do you think if I wish real hard and say this prayer out loud for 9 days I could get something? I mean, if you're gonna send a shitload of toys to some boys on Long Island, maybe you could just make a 50,000 word novel appear on my computer by November 30th, ok? Thanks. You're a pal.

Yes, this was the worst blogging episode ever. I'm exhausted. Nothing to see here, move on. This is not the blog you're looking for.


you can do it, i have absolute faith in you. and it's gonna be good too. let loose!

that's actually really piss funny - lord, you can tell they're not catholics...a bucnh of nine yr olds, on their knees in the one room, no parents...adn they pray! who would've thunk it?

You need to start praying to St. Shigeru Miyamoto, patron saint of video games. And of course St. Elisabeth Otto, patron saint of things falling out of planes.

Ha, and its no use praying for a novel, unless you copy one out of some old forgotten library somewhe... hey, that's not a bad idea.

Why do I suddenly feel compelled to move on?

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