A Small Victory: Happy fucking Halloween

happy fucking halloween

Will somebody please explain to me why in bloody hell I got up at 4:00 a.m. today? I could have rolled over and gone back to sleep. I could have pulled the covers over my head and dreamed away another hour and a half at least. Oh, no. Not me. This idiot wakes up at 4, so she gets up at 4. It is now 4:41 and I have already done a load of laundry, put the dishes away and killed some frolicking ice skaters with giant snowballs.

Maybe I can't sleep because I am annoyed. I am annoyed 7 ways til Sunday (my mom used to say that, I have no idea what it means, so don't ask).

First of all, I am annoyed at Fox. Yea, that Fox, the one that seems to have misplaced Futurama and Family Guy. Did anyone catch last night's pre-game love letter to New York? I say this as a New Yorker and a Yankees fan: That was the most blatant misuse of air time I have ever seen. It was a Major League Baseball presentation. It should have been..what's the word...unbiased! Yea, yea, I know New York has been through a lot, I know we are suffering, yadda yadda, but the whole fucking world is not full of Yankees fans. Not everyone and his brother are rooting for New York. It is inconceivable to me that a good 5 minutes before a game would be devoted to the underlying message that New Yorkers, the Yankees included, never quit, never give up and by god they are going to win this game and unite the entire free fucking world. Why not just trot out a banner that says "Major League Baseball wants the Yankees to win. Diamondbacks Go Home!" I know, it's not that important in the grand scheme of things, but this whole "I Love New York" thing is starting to wear pretty thin.

Annoyance number 2: Yesterday, I had the opportunity to be standing next to a group of people waiting for their kids to come out of school. One of the fathers apparently works for the FBI. The mothers were hanging around him like he was Elvis Presley, while he stood there rolling out the rumors and threats for everyone to hear. He informed the mothers that today (Halloween) is the day, it's gonna go down, they are 6,000% sure of it, they just don't know where, and on and on and on. First, he should know better than to stand in a schoolyard frightening already paranoid people into running for cover. And he stood there, whispering conspiratorially (is that a word?) as if he was divulging the world's greatest secrets, when everything he told them could have been found out by watching CNN. I think he was just getting off on scaring them.

Annoyance number 3: Natalie came home from school with a letter from her science teacher yesterday, detailing the class trip planned for this year. Please keep in mind that this trip is for 6th graders. 11 year olds. In lieu of taking the kids to the planned outing at the Virginia Space Center in November, they are instead going to the Montreal Space Center. Montreal. Canada. They want to take my eleven year old out of the country for three days? Are they out of their fucking minds? No parents are allowed. Teachers and spouses will supervise (keep in mind I am having issues with this science teacher for promoting the idea of dating to the 6th grade girls, asking them too many personal questions, and trying to set them up with his son). Kids will be 4 to a hotel room with no chaperone staying in the room with them. There are two days when they are on their own for lunch. Yes, it's educational. They get to sleep in a biodome (pause here to shudder at the thought of Pauly Shore) and they will take a gazillion tours of the space station, but I'll be god fucking damned if they think I am going to let my child run loose in Canada. I hate to sound all paranoid, but how the hell did the idea for this trip get passed by the school board considering that these kids are way too young to be on their own and that..hello?? is our country not under high alert? Would you send your 6th grader across the border when we are being warned every day about imminent terrorist attacks? Am I over reacting in the slightest here? Please tell me if I am because I will not call the school board and tell them to have their heads checked then.

Nothing like starting the day off with a little anger, pessimism, frustration and rage. And tonight brings a full moon and a clock that starts ticking down my days to complete my novel.

Scotch and cigarettes, anyone?

A Small Victory

Happy fucking Halloween

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