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what ever happened to plastic masks?

what ever happened to plastic masks?

Yea, so it's Tuesday and tomorrow is Halloween and I, being the last minute kind of person I am, will be spending today in my office, putting together DJ's Halloween costume. I will probably spend most of the night doing it. Now, I'm not one of those moms who sews her kids costumes, putting together intricate deisgns and twenty pounds of fabric to turn my child into a beautiful circus animal. No, I am the kind who buys them pre-made. Or not at all. This is what DJ has been the last four years: Derek Jeter, Bernie Williams, Bret Favre and Bret Favre. All I did was throw a jersey on him and dig the proper equipment out of the shed. This year he wanted to be Tony Hawk. Fine. I'd throw some skateboard clothes on him, a hat, let him carry his skateboard around and presto chango, he's Tony Hawk, midget sized.

But no. He had to change his mind. His bright idea this year was to go as half fireman, half policeman. Now, let me explain something about my son. He is very rigid in his thinking. He does not stray from what he considers to be the exact truth of a situation. For instance, he will not eat Sicilian pizza, because in his mind, pizza is triangle shaped and not square. He will not bend. He will not break. What he envisions in his mind has got to be what the final product will look like. And he wants to be half cop, half fireman right down the middle.

Yes, I had weeks to prepare for this. But I had that anniversary party to plan. I had other things on my mind. I figured, how hard could it be? After a fight and some tears in Party Experience last night, I realized this is going to be hard. So now, I have the fake plastic fireman's outfit, and I have a fake gun and handcuffs and badge, and someone is lending me their police hat, I am at a loss how to make the police side of the costume. And how to hold up the fireman's side of the costume once it's cut in half. Somebody save me, please. I know at least one of you is creative like that. Tell me what to do before I end up getting incredibly frustrated and locking him in the closet on Halloween.

There's always that Vinny Testaverde jersey.

Nah, too scary.


this is what i don't get - is DJ now, or has DJ ever been, a member of the Village People?

I think that's about where we are headed.

Two magical words for you on keeping the costume together.

Duct Tape!

Locking him in the closet will guarantee that every other Halloween you survive will be scarier than the last as he comes back to haunt you with a kitchen knife and white-washed Bill Shatner mask.

Hey he should of been tony hawk next time make him be a professional skateboarder, the king of skateboarding Tony Hawk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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