from the desk of cheney/ashcroft, evil duo at large
From the Desk of Cheney/Ashcroft, Evil Duo at Large
Ok, so this is how it's gonna go down. Everyone ready?
At some time (but I'm not sure when), at some place (but I'm not sure where), in some manner (but I'm not sure how), there will be some kind of terrorist attack (but I'm not sure which kind). We advise you to take precaution, (yet don't panic). We advise you to act normal (yet be vigilant). We are asking you to please go about your normal business (while we have cancelled all my travel plans). We have a handle on the situation (we are going underground) and you can rest assured that your president is in full control (we are sending George to the Yankee game. He drew the short straw when we ran out of room in the shelter).
And don't you worry about the war. We are taking care of that. It will just take some time (not sure how long) to draw out the enemy (who may or may not be dead or in another country) and do so without killing too many civilians (well at least we don't think so) or any more of our own (we're not sure about that one either).
So Happy Halloween, America. Know your real enemy. The razor in the apple. The plastic He-Man mask that has been recalled. The teenager with a sock full of shaving cream. Those are your enemies. Don't you worry about anything else but that.