« george, the yankees, and me | Main | fuck me »

mallergy

mallergy

Something's wrong. Monday was ok.

There were no calls from angry attorneys or deranged defendants. No missing motion papers. No crude jokes from my boss or matters of urgency that really weren't. I even worked through lunch today, and still the afternoon went surprisingly fast. I had to check my calendar three times to make sure it was really Monday.

And now, I am about to antagonize all that good Karma. I am tempting fate. I am going to the mall. With children.

See, I suffer from something I call mallergy. Basically, I am allergic to malls. Once I enter one of those shopping meccas, I am overcome with symptoms. I break out in hives. My blood pressure rises. My skin crawls. Being in such close proximity to so many screaming, snotty nosed children, bargain hunters, wise ass teenagers and an Abercrombie & Fitch store makes me want to combust. There is no antidote for this sickness, save for leaving the mall, going home and drinking a bottle of scotch.

I know, I can just stay home and avoid the mall all together. But then the school would call social services because my kids would have neither winter coats nor Halloween costumes. And I don't think social services accept mallergy as a real condition.

So if you don't hear from me soon, I either internally combusted while walking past The Gap, or I decapitated a total stranger in a fit of mall-rage.

Perhaps I should drink the scotch before I go.

Posted by on October 29, 2001 03:24 PM |

Comments

I know what you mean. I have meallergy. I can't make myself dinner, not even leftovers.

Posted by: Jill Matrix | October 29, 2001 07:32 PM

I can also relate. I suffer from the disorder "mallaise" where I am just totally beat after 10 minutes in a mall, 5 if I'm with my mom, or my kids.

Posted by: Miguel | October 30, 2001 05:49 AM

I had my mom and my kids with me last night. You can see why I'm still recovering.

Posted by: michele | October 30, 2001 06:39 AM

so much for the itnernet shopping revlution

Posted by: g | October 30, 2001 07:16 AM

Procrastinating until the day before Halloween kind of lets out the idea of buying your kid's costume on line.

Posted by: michele | October 30, 2001 08:45 AM

Give me a Plumber's friend the size of the Pittsburgh dome, and a place
to stand, and I will drain the world.
Texas Holdem http://www.texas-holdem-poker-casino.com

Posted by: Texas Holdem | November 6, 2004 05:38 AM

Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the
Western Spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun.
Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-eight million miles is an
utterly insignificant little blue-green planet whose ape-descended life
forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches
are a pretty neat idea ...
-- Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Online Dating http://www.online-dating-com.com

Posted by: Online Dating | November 6, 2004 11:39 PM

www adult stories net erotic adult stories erotic short story erotic story incest erotic stories free adult desi sexy stories erotic mind control story archive erotic fiction online kelly sexy stories adult erotic fiction erotic story archive sex erotic story telugu adult stories stories adult free pakistani sexy stories sexy teen stories sex adult stories adult indian stories sexy incest stories kelly sexy stories sexy adult stories wrestling erotic fiction stories erotic fiction sex stories adult sexy incest stories adult bedtime stories sexy stories kelly erotic lesbian fiction adult baby stories erotic story adult male stories stories adult stories adult www adult stories stories free adult lesbian adult youth sex stories interactive adult stories stories adult sex erotic stories fiction lesbian erotic story adult stories com erotic adult sex stories sexy wife stories sexy urdu stories erotic fiction online adult stories free adult stories xxx aaron's adult stories stories sexy adult stories net sexy lesbian stories gay adult stories adult erotic story sora's erotic story chinese erotic story erotic stories fiction sexy nsync stories free sexy slut wife stories free xxx adult stories adult stories free tamil adult stories stories adult adult youth sex stories erotic indian story indian sexy stories nifty erotic story archives sex erotic story sexy indian stories nifty erotic story archives free adult porn stories sexy incest stories free adult xxx stories adult rape stories erotic story index free adult audio stories

Posted by: hindi sexy stories | November 8, 2004 12:07 PM

I assert that a man has no reason to be ashamed of having an ape for a grandfather. If there were an ancestor whom I should feel shame in recalling, it would rather be a man endowed with great ability and a splendid position who used those gifts to obscure the truth. by free poker online

Posted by: poker online | November 18, 2004 03:32 AM