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The Horror! The Horror!

Oh! The Humanity!

I have come across something more frightening than anthrax. More fear inducing than war. It's something that makes me cower in a corner, longing for the days of yore.

Natalie has a boyfriend.

Yes, folks, my eleven year old daughter came home from school today and announced her foray into the dating world. How an eleven year old perceives the idea of a boyfriend, I've yet to find out. She only talks about in hushed tones to her friends on the telephone. From what I could make out, it has something to do with sitting together at lunch and a lot of phone calls. And apparently, the other "couples" in her grade spend a lot of time breaking up and getting back together. With boyfriends come trauma, tears, heartache, secrets and lots of little notes crumbled up in the bottom of a backpack.

She was intolerable before this Bryan kid decided he wanted to attach himself to her. I am doomed. Doomed.


haha, his name is bryan with a y, like me. how cute.

God help your sorry ass, Michele.

But I love your daughter, ma'am, and because I plan to major in electrical engineering in college, I am confident I'll be able to provide well for our children, and you in your elderly years. In fact, I've already set up my Roth IRA, and my 401(k) plan consistantly outperforms the Dow. Please accept me into your heart and mind, dear future mother-in-law.

Fine, but from now on, when you call here please do not say "Yo, where's Nat at?"

ever since we gave beta (now 12) a bad time for getting married when she was 8, then divorced, she has kept her love-life a secret from us. at least from me. i see her whispering from her mother sometimes.

you are like so fucked..bryan, what kinda name is that? imagine nat in 25 years, curlers in hair, yelling down the front stairs - bryyyan....the horror, the horro...there's something to be sdaid for confining girls to convents, i tell ya.


I like your name, Bryan. And it turns out his name is RYAN not Bryan, anyhow.

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